So being able to model resilience, being able to model self-compassion, being able to model mindfulness. “This, of course, means that parents need their own support system and their own childcare practices to help them thrive.” Haja Booth Watkins a psychiatrist and director of the Clay Center for Healthy Young Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, calls it “loss of function.” “They may indicate a serious mental health problem,” “she” saidBooth say the level of mental distress, including suicide, in their adolescent patients is among the highest in their careers. Booth Watkins says we should acknowledge their feelings and sympathize with them when they miss a birthday party or baseball season, even if it doesn’t seem so bad overall. Booth Watkins calls it a “best friend test.” “Would you say to your best friend,That was stupid’?” Probably not, says “she,” and we should ask our teenagers not to talk to themselves like that. Nebolsin, a Falls Church, Va. therapist, adds that depression manifests itself in conversations that are PPP: personal, general and prolonged. In addition to loss of function, which can mean sudden and major changes in eating, sleeping or even basic hygiene, expressions of desire or absence can also be red flags. “The most important tool in a parent’s toolbox is to be a role model,” Dr. Nebolsin says, “because the pandemic makes it difficult for teens to meet their basic developmental needs. Ubiquitous, meaningful bad feelings permeate many areas of their lives, from school to social interaction. If you’ve had these conversations, you may want to seek professional help. If you are concerned about a teen you care about, here’s how to start the conversation and when to seek professional help. Showing resilience does not mean minimizing or downplaying our children’s concerns. is one of the many teens who have had to deal with loss of habit and milestones during the pandemic. Personally, it means internalizing what is wrong and feeling like a personal failure.